Lost motivation

Living as a runner... Some people truly live to run. Every hour of the day carries the consideration of when will I eat? When will I be ready to get out the door and run? I was never a full professional, although I tried to find a way to live that life. For many years, I worked in running shops, thought about running probably every 15minutes until I was actually outside and pressing a button on my watch to start the run. But time isn't kind to the body, you just don't know how you will feel after thousands and thousands of miles over many years.
In recent conversations with random people, I’ve said, “I competed for more than 20 years." Currently, it is a past tense statement. I have faded into obscurity, and that's alright. My last race was Dec of 2018. I ran a 15k in Central Park, NYC. As I'm writing this, I can't even recall the precise name of the race; I don't care enough to look on the NYRR website to see what it was called. I was happy to go and be with some friends, but I wasn't fit at all. I started too fast and paid in vicious fashion for it. I don't remember what my time was, I think just over 6:00per mile pace, but really it doesn't matter anymore.
I used to have a raging fire inside me for training and racing, but injuries have plagued me for more than 10 years and I simply got worn out by it. The rising cost of race fees, the monotony of going to some of the same local races for many years in a row, the stress of trying to earn my living and coordinate with anyone at all to have some company on a run in the concrete Jungle of Hudson County, NJ.
I met my wife along the way through it all, and priorities changed. We are in Mexico right now, and I have no regrets about not running for many months. A series of factors (mainly picking fruit in Canada for the summer, a story with many chapters for an entirely different blog I need to create)
have kept me from going, and maybe you runners/readers are wondering "But, you can just go out and jog a little." When I feel like it, I run, and that's all I can say for now. I'm healthy and haven't gained a pile of weight, I could probably tell you, "I run 50 mpw" and you would believe it.
A certain fact is that energy both physical and mental is in finite supply every day of your life. I'm focused on learning Spanish and teaching English, and being a good husband, and spending time with my new family, etc. Life is good, and I'll run again...maybe today, or tomorrow. Yes, I lost motivation to continue as a Berzerker Runner, but maybe I'll get it back...just being honest.

It isn't all about running

Why do we write? Why do we speak? There are hundreds of languages that humans speak. What's the point?  For sure, we want to be heard. We want to express ourselves, to be understood.  I like to talk about running.  But I like to talk about a lot of other things too.  There are things that I want to hear. So I listen.
I am a surely a runner, and most people I know make that association right away.  I've found I have to hang out with other runners, because at least we get bored of asking each other about running. So, we will do and talk about other things once in a while.
For instance, my housemate is learning Spanish translation. He is very fascinated with language, and we have some great conversations about words and various languages, roots and origins. Good for the brain.I'll have to say that once in a while, I need to remove my mind from running. I need to be a bump on a log. Move little and just think.  Maybe pick up my guitar, read a comic book (don't pick on me, some of them are really well written!). Or go somewhere, get a snack, watch some people. Do something, experience something, as long as it isn't running.

A happy dog! What could be better?

A shadow of my former self. If you want to get philosophical, you are a different person every day. You aren't who you were yesterday.

There is a lot more to all of us, what we like, what we do, where we've been, who we are. People just need to remember that. I'm more than a runner. And so are you.
Who are you? Who am I? I am fairly sure that I know the answer to that in my mind and in my heart. Running is maybe just my favorite way of putting it out there, but there is so much more.
With that, I bid you all a good day. And now, I am going to take my parent's awesome dog, Fonzie, for a walk, because I love him.