Lost motivation

Living as a runner... Some people truly live to run. Every hour of the day carries the consideration of when will I eat? When will I be ready to get out the door and run? I was never a full professional, although I tried to find a way to live that life. For many years, I worked in running shops, thought about running probably every 15minutes until I was actually outside and pressing a button on my watch to start the run. But time isn't kind to the body, you just don't know how you will feel after thousands and thousands of miles over many years.
In recent conversations with random people, I’ve said, “I competed for more than 20 years." Currently, it is a past tense statement. I have faded into obscurity, and that's alright. My last race was Dec of 2018. I ran a 15k in Central Park, NYC. As I'm writing this, I can't even recall the precise name of the race; I don't care enough to look on the NYRR website to see what it was called. I was happy to go and be with some friends, but I wasn't fit at all. I started too fast and paid in vicious fashion for it. I don't remember what my time was, I think just over 6:00per mile pace, but really it doesn't matter anymore.
I used to have a raging fire inside me for training and racing, but injuries have plagued me for more than 10 years and I simply got worn out by it. The rising cost of race fees, the monotony of going to some of the same local races for many years in a row, the stress of trying to earn my living and coordinate with anyone at all to have some company on a run in the concrete Jungle of Hudson County, NJ.
I met my wife along the way through it all, and priorities changed. We are in Mexico right now, and I have no regrets about not running for many months. A series of factors (mainly picking fruit in Canada for the summer, a story with many chapters for an entirely different blog I need to create)
have kept me from going, and maybe you runners/readers are wondering "But, you can just go out and jog a little." When I feel like it, I run, and that's all I can say for now. I'm healthy and haven't gained a pile of weight, I could probably tell you, "I run 50 mpw" and you would believe it.
A certain fact is that energy both physical and mental is in finite supply every day of your life. I'm focused on learning Spanish and teaching English, and being a good husband, and spending time with my new family, etc. Life is good, and I'll run again...maybe today, or tomorrow. Yes, I lost motivation to continue as a Berzerker Runner, but maybe I'll get it back...just being honest.

The 120th Boston Marathon

I haven't felt like there is much to say lately, nothing worth reading anyway.
"How ya' doin'?" "How ya' been?"...
These are the two hardest questions for me to answer lately. Can I even say "I'm injured.", just smirk and say thanks when someone expresses some empathy? The worst kind of injuries are the ones that seem to just linger or morph in a way that leaves you still able to run, albeit slower and shorter distances than you'd like.
I'm trying to figure it all out. Medical treatment isn't in the cards for me currently, considering all things financial. I know I can't complain too much, lots of people have worse circumstances than I do. But running well makes me happy, so I am a lot less happy.  That's it, that's what's real. 

It took me a while to decide if I wanted to do a write up about my 6th time racing the Boston marathon. I just felt less and less motivated as the days went by afterward and I am simply floundering in its wake. Yeah, it's July now and I'm running some easy miles and riding my bike some. No racing, no workouts. The cycling has been a fun change from everyday running. After these photos there is a bit more, so don't go quitting on me just yet, read on.

Fancy trinket of which I am quite proud

People feeling out the last 100m by the finish line on Boylston St

Me letting out everything that was left in the tank heading to the finish. As you can see, I had some company creep up on me. It was on the telly, proper famous now I is.

Walking away from the finish line post race, exhausted. To my left, good pal, Geraint Davies.

The GF and I doing the tourist photo op thing.

Twins

 My performance was better than average, but could have been so much more. I know there are still great races in me, but damn it; I need to get healthier to make them happen.  The winner of the race was 2:12:xx, this race has had top finisher 5-9mins faster. I'll tell myself, it was a hot day and I didn't execute entirely that well and was stricken by a classic pit stop around mile 9, certainly costing me 2mins. If I can speculate a 8min faster time than the 2:42:18 that I finished with, it exactly matches my PB. I still believe in myself, there is still plenty of time to achieve my lifetime goal in marathoning. It isn't that far away.

The race itself went like this:
I lightly jogged up to the starting corrals with teammates and friends, had my last visit to the Porta-john (before the race), and went into the 2nd corral where I was assigned. It was too warm already, we thought we would have low 60's, it was already 70.  Standing among the hundreds of other great runners in that corral I found a few who were simply beaming with excitement about being there and knowing that they were about to embark upon their goal of "running the Boston Marathon". I wished luck to anyone that surrounded me where I stood. The jets flew over as the national anthem was sung and applauded. Volunteers dropped the ropes separating the corrals and we walked forward about 10m to blend into the back of the 1st corral.

The race was started and we were off! I moved to the edge of the road when possible to find open ground to run; having decided that keeping pace with Will Appman would be a fine idea...if I could just find him in the thick of the 1st mile. Luckily, I caught him after about 1/2 of a mile and we stuck to 5:48-5:52 per mile. Jeremy Klapper ran along with us for about 5k, deciding to back off once the downhills were completed; ultimately finishing ahead of us both in 2:38. My GI tract was not on board with running 26.2 miles non-stop, so I bid Will a farewell and stopped for about 2mins at a Porta-john around mile 8-9.  This was a bit of a downer, I had trained a lot with Will this past winter and had hoped to run much of the race with him to shared success. Ultimately, Will ran a 2:40.

After I got back on the road, I simply struggled to maintain a sub 6 pace. I was in the low 6's and feeling decent. I was passing people, but I just couldn't go any faster. Running past Wellesley College was a fun experience as always, kisses for luck, why not?! I worked up the hills the best I could and held back from speeding down past Boston College. But sure enough, the higher than normal temps just started to hurt me too much. The Newton Hills were nasty as ever, I passed teammate Tim Seeley, and that was a double bummer. I could tell he was having a terrible time by that point (near mile 18 I believe), I caught and passed him with suddenness. We expected him to be our lead man, I've been in his shoes, it's a hard thing to finish a marathon when the wheels are coming off. Credit to him, he finished it up. I have to say that Tim trained better than any of us, and his consistent excellence in training motivated me to stay honest in training and not slack. After climbing all the Newton hills my pace faded a bit, the last 2 miles were verging on ugly, last mile in 6:53. Once I had calculated a sub 2:40 was not salvageable, I was definitely less motivated.

Yet, I saw some friends along the way at Cleveland Circle and the crowds just before turning on Boylston St were so thick with screaming fans, you just can't NOT run faster. I turned it on, gave what was left when I knew it meant I wouldn't collapse before finishing. So, now, this is the first time I have managed to run this race 3 consecutive years, hoping to keep the streak going. I was glad it was over, very happy to have another shiny medal to add to the collection. Later, I celebrated with my girlfriend, Anna, Will, Jeremy, various friends and everyone's supporters. Anna and I bumped around town to see some old historical stuff, got some Cannoli and just enjoyed the sunny spring day.

I hope this can inspire you, the moment you read this, that is drives you a bit; gets you to step outside when you are procrastinating for too long or feeling tired or sore. There are going to be good days and bad days, right?

Coming soon: Attempts at rehab for mysterious un-diagnosed injuries and prepping for XC!

Living a Runner's Dream

People remark to me when they learn I am "A Runner", that they "hate running", "couldn't run down the street", "would only run to catch the bus", etc.  Or sometimes, they ask simply, "Why do you do it?"
I find the why a more interesting thing to respond to, it is open-ended. Perhaps they actually want to gain some insight. 
 I'm going to cut to it now. Nevermind specific race goals for the year, nevermind why I started. Let me tell you why I won't stop.
 I am living the dream: Every time I get going, even when the weather sucks and I am alone wishing I had a buddy out there with me, I am at least 51% glad that I made the effort.  The pain comes with the territory, and there are far more painful things than running injuries and pushing yourself to the limit over and over again. Every step is worth everything I get back from it. I see things that most people won't see, I continue to meet exceptional people because we run. Goals always seem just around the corner, adventures are in every direction. I have been doing this for almost 20yrs, I've run enough miles to encircle the earth and then some.  I can look back on it so far and realize I have accomplished a lot for myself and with teammates, on my terms, in my own time, on my level. Why Would I ever stop?

My team, the distance runners at least, we roll deep.

Now I ask You, "Why do you NOT run?"
That's enough, chew on it...and get your ass out the door, the world probably needs you to run all over it.

It isn't all about running

Why do we write? Why do we speak? There are hundreds of languages that humans speak. What's the point?  For sure, we want to be heard. We want to express ourselves, to be understood.  I like to talk about running.  But I like to talk about a lot of other things too.  There are things that I want to hear. So I listen.
I am a surely a runner, and most people I know make that association right away.  I've found I have to hang out with other runners, because at least we get bored of asking each other about running. So, we will do and talk about other things once in a while.
For instance, my housemate is learning Spanish translation. He is very fascinated with language, and we have some great conversations about words and various languages, roots and origins. Good for the brain.I'll have to say that once in a while, I need to remove my mind from running. I need to be a bump on a log. Move little and just think.  Maybe pick up my guitar, read a comic book (don't pick on me, some of them are really well written!). Or go somewhere, get a snack, watch some people. Do something, experience something, as long as it isn't running.

A happy dog! What could be better?

A shadow of my former self. If you want to get philosophical, you are a different person every day. You aren't who you were yesterday.

There is a lot more to all of us, what we like, what we do, where we've been, who we are. People just need to remember that. I'm more than a runner. And so are you.
Who are you? Who am I? I am fairly sure that I know the answer to that in my mind and in my heart. Running is maybe just my favorite way of putting it out there, but there is so much more.
With that, I bid you all a good day. And now, I am going to take my parent's awesome dog, Fonzie, for a walk, because I love him.

Consistent Mileage Increase

 60, 68, 64, 73, 80, 62, 59, 71, 74, 85, 74, 86, and already this week 73miles(haven't run today yet and still have tomorrow).  Those numbers represent how many miles I ran in each of the last 12 weeks.  The highest totals in 5yrs. If you've been reading, you may recall the mention of a 100mile week recently. That was a Wednesday to Wednesday stretch. The Sunday to Saturday 100 is coming soon, I mean hey; this past week all it would have been is getting my ass out the door 7 minutes earlier and keeping it rolling for an extra 7mins. Had I done this, the 100 would have happened.

OK, so what happens when you run 100miles in one week? Somewhere from unseen speakers, a wicked guitar verse begins to ring out in the distance. Perhaps "Getting Strong Now" or "Going the Distance", or something embellisingly dramatic that has nothing to do with running? Nope, back to reality.
What about 120, 140, 160, etc? I mean, I have been saying I'm going to run to work(nearly 14miles away from home), and like so many other things in my life, I've procrastinated on this. But here I am writing about it, so I think this is the cry-wolf moment that I can't back down from. It looks like I'll be saving some money on gasoline very soon.

Of course, you don't want to run yourself to a breaking point. Rest/recovery and nutrition are paramount in all this.  But there is much to be said for consistently putting in time that you haven't committed to something ever before. 50miles with 3 quality efforts per week could be more effective than 100miles with 1 quality day. However, 100miles with 1 or 2 "quality" effort is subjective the idea that one should be acquiring fitness at the most accelerated rate for readiness for frequent competition. To have more patience in this would allow for a large build up of the aerobic system for greater endurance. I am comfortable with this idea, and not feeling pressured to run "hard" 3-4 days a week any longer.

There are 13 weeks left in this yr, I would like to run no less than 60miles in the last two weeks of the yr, in each week previous to that I figure on an avg of 85 from here on. I'll need to do some exploring to make this happen no doubt. Thankfully there are plenty of great trail systems in NJ that  I have yet to get into.
 
Convincing myself that running 40-80mins, sometimes twice per day, is a doable thing; has been a surprise. A yr ago, I would struggle to convince myself to run for 70mins at the end of a day. Getting out the door before work, was just hard. I love to run, but what can I say? I was struggling mentally, and often. Personal circumstances were just making running half a chore. Many have joked about running "being my mistress", well if it got in the way of some things. Then damn some things! I like running...I like it... a lot.

Running, yup.

 I believe much is possible. I can commit more to running. She is good to me. So I will.

the image above is property of mrwgifs.com

Recent Racing, Travels, and Training

May 9-12: New Orleans: Bourbon St is insane. The bars don't close as far as I can tell. Bachelor and Bachelorette parties everywhere, lots of silly people doing silly things. Pretty much what I expected it all would be. I somehow managed to run once, 5miles, saw a few bits of the city that I wouldn't have otherwise. But let's be honest, sleep wasn't happening. My friend, Ken, is getting married. Ken likes to drink...So drink we did. Little sleep for three straight nights a healthy athlete does not make. But the world stops for no one.

May 13th: Chester, PA-Widener University(proud owner of the worst/hardest track I've ever raced on), So, I got back late Sunday night, and slept a full night...finally, and then I met up with Peter Bolgert and the Dan's of Princeton(Ebanks and Lewis), fine athletes and a swell buncha' fella's. From PU we shared a ride to Widener. Which for some reason, was hosting a meet that would have been at Swarthmore College(a place with a good track, or so I'm told). The Men's steeple had 20 runners in it! That's a huuuuge heat for a steeple race. I got caught up behind some inexperienced guys, just like a traffic jam, they hit the brakes and either you do too or swing around. Both take up more energy and time.  Check the results out below. I'm not disgusted, I mean, I felt like crap(post nasal drip/laryngitis starting up), it was also about 45degrees at race time. All in all, not a disaster, just wish I'd maybe finished 2-3 spots further up.

May 15th: 4x1600@Threshold pace w/1min recovery and 4x200@mile race pace w/200jog recovery. I probably went a bit too hard, but somehow didn't feel tired despite the advanced state of my illness. 5:20, 28, 18, 19 and 200's in 31, 31, 32, 31. Yeah, I'm not a 4:10 miler, but it didn't hurt. This was a great effort I think, and I say this as I sit here coughing 4 days later... Oh and I signed up for a Marathon August 18th, Chasing the Unicorn in PA, near Washington's Crossing, out and back for the day one BQ, figure I'll cruise a 2:44:50, no need for a heavy effort in mid August. That's the story for the time being.

Below are the results from last Monday's race at Widener(hosted by Swarthmore? weird)

Men's 3,000m Steeplechase

Finals:
Place	Overall	Name	Year	Team	Time	Score
1	1	Thisle, Paul		Unattached	9:02.99	-
2	2	Roza, David	SO-2	Haverford	9:23.90	-
3	3	Cason, David	JR-3	Guilford	9:25.00	-
4	4	Broderick, Brian	SR-4	NYU	9:26.51	-
5	5	Rittenhouse, Abram	JR-3	Bridgewater (Va.)	9:27.42	-
6	6	Price, Kyle		Garden State Track Club	9:30.28	-
7	7	Budman, Josh	SR-4	Johns Hopkins	9:32.36	-
8	8	Bolgert, Peter		Garden State Track Club	9:32.54	-
9	9	Weller, Ross		Unattached	9:35.94	-
10	10	Garrity, Mike		Unattached	9:36.96	-
11	11	Cutright, Daniel		Unattached	9:37.78	-
12	12	Showalter, Joshua	FR-1	Christopher Newport	9:38.30	-
13	13	Zeffer, Collin	SR	Delaware TC	9:43.46	-
14	14	Schatz, Jared	FR-1	Messiah	9:55.40	-
15	15	Anis, Michael		Garden State Track Club	10:00.29	-
16	16	Richard, Daniel	SO-2	Christopher Newport	10:03.54	-
17	17	Turner, Bradley	SO-2	Christopher Newport	10:04.96	-
18	18	Cooper, Sam	FR-1	Elizabethtown	10:16.96	-
19	19	Howell, Billy	SO-2	Ramapo	10:20.71	-
20	20	Obrien, Christopher		Unattached	10:44.18	-

Sunday is Runday

Something that was expressed to me in a humorous email struck a chord of thought. It was another stitch that brings closer together the seams in the fabric of my mind's inner workings.

My friend said, "Enjoy your Runday".  Which immediately made me think about Sunday-Funday. I like a Sunday-Funday, and who doesn't? But more importantly...Sunday is Runday!  It's LONG run day! It's the most important run of the week! It's like the breakfast of long distance training!

I move to vote on renaming Sunday, to Runday.  Because, in my estimation, that is what Sunday should be reserved for, there should be no other pain in the ass obligations that interfere with running as far as I want to with my friends!  Once running is done, I say eat(get to the diner), drink, and be merry(beers and ha-ha's).

There are only 52 Sunday Funday's each yr, don't squander them! Run far and drink hard

Call me a dreamer, but I think the week should start with Runday, and we just don't have to talk about the one that starts with an M...

The Philadelphia Marathon: My first Love in the Marathon

Many runners in NJ/PA/NY, have sought the big city excitement of a road marathon when they decide to run their first.  The idea of running with thousands of other runners and having thousands of spectators cheering for you is an enticing thought to the newbie.  I'm not going to bullshit you, that was part of the draw for me too.
 
I may have yapped about this story in part before but, I have to give credit to a guy I've known a long time and did a fair bit of running with, Mike Daigeaun, he suggested Philly, as it was his first as well, and he was also running it that yr coincidentally, two weeks after a bad run in the NYC marathon(Daigeaun does stuff like that). He gave a great pitch, I was sold.  So, I twisted the Mike Dixon's arm, and convinced him that this is how we would qualify for Boston.
I was so focused on the idea of getting to Boston that I didn't think much about Philly being a chance at a great experience, and truth be told, I've had a BLAST in Philly a bunch of times, with or without a marathon! Boston's nice too, but in 2006, what the heck did I know? I'd never really spent much time in either place. So I've run seven marathons now, and I think back on the two that I ran in Philly, and I appreciate the city and the event more today than I did on the day of either race.

Fun in Philly!

 I wanted to run a fast course, and blaze through some streets where you'd otherwise normally be run over by a bus.  I wanted to see how I could place among a lot of runners, of course-qualify for Boston, I wanted to see what "hitting the wall" felt like. Philly provided ample opportunity for all of this. I face planted into the wall...yes, I did.

Today, I was working at the marathon expo, selling discounted running apparel, accessories, and shoes.  I was also at the NYC expo a couple weeks ago(too bad about that whole thing eh?)  And, I suddenly realized, how much I enjoy being around runners who are excited about their "big race".  It is very meaningful in the lives of each of them.  I like hearing people telling me, "It's my first, I'm excited...and nervous."
Now, I like to pick on Eagles' fans a bit when they lose, and I like seeing the Devils beat the Flyers, I don't give a damn about basketball...but I like Philadelphia for the sort of place that it is.  I enjoy the murals and mosaics you find alongside random buildings in the city. Most of the buildings aren't obnoxiously huge, has good bars with great beers! There are a whole bunch of historic things there, and I don't feel lost in the frenzy of consumerism there so badly. You really won't notice a whole lot of that stuff unless you studied up on where everything is, and that's why I am more excited about being there to see it again(now knowing the city better). Philadelphia, is a cool city with a lot of character.

 It will always be the city I ran my first marathon, and I so I'm excited to go see my teammates Ken Walsh and James Lothian run it this Sunday.  These guys are going for a sub 3hr run, and I'm looking forward to seeing them do it! I was born in NYC, but I Love Philadelphia, and I probably always will.